Hey you!!! Are you ready to create a new music playlist, all about self-care and what it consists of? If you have been following me in the Garden of Music, you would have noticed that we have already “Faced the music,” “Listened to the music” and now we are about to “change the playlist.” As said before this won’t be a typical blog post theme. It will be different, raw, emotional and unusual to an extent. Bare with me now things may get a little heated.
Self-care just like self-love is essential for oneself; because it’s YOU learning to appreciate, love and care for yourself. To me, self-care has more to do with your mental health and the entire 360 degrees of YOU. Notice my emphasis on the “YOU.” Self – care isn’t about luxury but, a mean to survive for yourself. When I say luxury, I mean using the “plastic card” and spending it on hair, nails, clothes, etc. even though I am guilty of this sometimes… don’t judge me. Self-care has a lot to do with your entire well-being; how YOU look after yourself and putting yourself first before anything. It can come off as selfish but if you don’t understand don’t worry I will explain in a bit. Self-care is something you have to learn to do for yourself because, without it, I think many of us would be mentally unstable or always in what they like to call “funk.” With all that being said… it is time to walk in the music garden, this time we are going to create a new music playlist about self-care; this time we are viewing the difference between self-care and self-love, the meaning of self-care and much more!!!! Who is ready?? I know I am.
Self-care. Say it with me people and shout it: SELF-CARE!Yes, yes yes. Don’t you just love that phrase? Doesn’t that sound like an ear orgasm? What do you think self-care means?*as I wait for answers * don’t be shy all responses welcomed. Now that you all have answered the question… I will tell you what I believe self-care is. “Self- care is self-compassion. It is focusing on yourself in a non-narcissistic way. Paying close attention to yourself and putting your needs and self before others. It's knowing who you are as an individual; this includes the ins and outs of you and your limits. Self-care is getting enough sleep every day or almost every day (I wish I could get 8+ full hours)and eating well or what we like to say “healthy.””Yes, I know this is an extended definition, but at least you get the point. ANYTHINGthat involves taking good care of YOU and being kind to yourself is self-care. That also includes spiritually feeding yourself, changing to a positive environment, decompressing, etc. you get the point. Don’t hurt your head I will explain that part in detail a little later on when we create our new playlist.
Let me just admit to this now because I am human with my own personal faults. I kind of suck at self-care. I know it sounds weird for me to say that if I am writing about it but, just hear me out for a minute. Yes, I do understand what self-care is, but I find that I didn’t know entirely what it meant and how oblivious I was to it until now. I thought that certain things automatically meant I cared for myself, but I was wrong. Just because I had learned to have self-love, I didn’t quite master self-care and what all it involved especially with my mentality. I automatically thought that self-love was enough. WRONG!!!!!!! How did I realize it? I realized when I noticed that I was still getting stressed over simple things, I always felt tired and sad, I kept putting others before myself, I didn’t know how to tell others “no”, I would always sacrifice “my time” just to benefit others and every time I got into an argument I was only hurting myself. They say that “Good self-care means no stress or anxiety.”That is so true. I would always ask myself “Why the hell do I feel this way mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. If I am giving myself self-love already?”“I no longer have self-hate so what’s really going on?”but guess what? I thought giving myself love was the self- care I needed, but I had it all wrong. *face to palm * those are two different things but there is a thin line difference between the two. Anyway… so I did some meditation and realized what I needed to do to care for myself more:
1. Be selfish sometimes: some persons think that being selfish is a bad thing, but honestly if you are trying to care for yourself more it is really not.
2. Walk Away from Arguments:this was a major one for me. Mentally I can’t take arguing and fighting anymore. I’ve reached a point now whereas, I will say what I have to and I will walk away from you. My mental sanity is way more important. I could care less about your smart remarks. To be honest, if I try to argue I’m only going to hurt you verbally. NO CARES ARE GIVEN.
3. Keep Away from Negativity: cut the negative cords out of your life ASAP. This includes your work environment, friends, family, etc.
4. Drink plenty of water:I know this sounds weird, but this is just a reminding to drink at least 8 cups per day.
I only spoke on those four because I know for me personally those are the ones I really need to focus on and are the first four songs on my playlist to self-care. There are many songs you can add to your self-care playlist, but I can’t tell you which to add because you know yourself better than I do. One more thing before we stop talking about my personal self *giggles *. I will admit that I am very hard on myself and that I need to learn to lighten up and allow myself to enjoy each and every happy moment in my life; despite things not going the way I would like them too. It is something that I don’t want to admit aloud; however, I can’t hide from the fact that it is true.
I hope you are enjoying the music thus far about self-care. So, I’ve had someone say to me before “Don’t you think its selfish that you always seem to care about yourself more than others?”well, the answer is “No.” in a sense self-care is being selfish but not in a negative light. I would say its more about learning to stop giving so much of yourself and time to others and give more of it to oneself. Like honestly it is not worth it. There are times where we need to learn to say “no” to others because we need time to fuel up ourselves and make sure we are making ourselves happy just as much as we are making others. Why do we always go the extra mile for others and we don’t do it for ourselves? Why is that we are so quick to fix our phone screens when it gets cracked, but we can’t even fix ourselves when we are emotionally broken inside. Why is it so easy for YOU to cater to your job and your boss more than to cater to yourself? Why for the love of god do you give a shit more about caring for a person who honestly doesn’t care for you??? WHYYYYYYYY! We all need to stop focusing on making others happy and leaving ourselves in the dark. Make YOURSELF happy first then everybody else can come after. If you don’t make yourself happy, really really happy deep down inside, then who the hell will? We aren’t born with self-care but we can learn it, and it is never too late to start. Don’t mind what social media has to say because most of the time those “persons” who claim to be living their “best life” are just as stressed and depressed when they put down that camera. If any person tries to tell you-you are being selfish for putting yourself first simply say: “No, I just care for myself more.”And if they try to run on with you tell them to “kiss your ass”and politely smile and walk off.
So I know you guys are wondering what the difference between self-care and self-love is… well, to be honest, it is common to mix them up. This is because there is a fine line between the two. So I will try to make this as simple as possible. Self-love to me is more about acceptance of oneself and learning to appreciate who YOU are as a human being. Realizing that you aren’t perfect and that you have flaws, but you learn to love every part of you. Self-love starts with YOU and don’t apologize for being YOU either. On the other hand, Self-care leans more to the 360 of you, meaning your mentality, spirituality, emotions, getting Intune with your physical self. It's about putting yourself first before anything. Self-care is about having a healthy relationship with yourself. It's about learning to shut down for a while and focus on YOU. Self- love, and self-care go hand and hand together because caring for yourself is to love yourself. Don’t you agree? I hope you guys get the point of the difference between the two. I tried my best for you guys to understand the difference. Gosh… I mean…ughhh. Like it’s so hard sometimes for me to write about these things because like I said earlier I’m still learning about self-care and creating a playlist in my life for it. *inhale and exhale slowly *This is so off topic, but I really appreciate you all and salute you all who are on this journey like me to self-love and self-care. I’ve made a vow to myself that 2019 is the year for me to be selfish even if I come across as a mean person at times. Moving on!!!! We are almost done walking through the “Garden of Music” for the day. Just a few more things I want you guys to add onto your new music playlist.
So there are 5 different categories I want you guys to add to your new music playlist. Don’t stare at me puzzled, please. Thank You!! Think about it even though self-care is a broad topic there are 5 types of self-care that I have taught myself over the year of 2019.
The first being Sensory:
Of course, sensory has to do with touch, smell, sight, and sound. Sensory self-care is all about the mind and keeping sane and Zen. So things to help with sensory self-care are: walking on the beach and enjoying the feeling of the sand. Listening to music while reading a book. Getting your favorite candle and lighting it up and just inhale that sweet scent you like. Or simply cuddling with a soft cloud like pillow.
The second Spiritual:
I know not everyone is spiritual and that’s fine not a big deal. Spiritual self-care focuses on meditating and focusing on your purpose in life and your values. My practices for spiritual self-care were: reading poetry (R.H. Sin, Samantha king Holmes, Atticus, R.M. Drake, Rupi Kaur, and April Green are my personal favs). Looking in the mirror after a nice shower and repeating affirmations. Writing a blog post for you all to read. You guys get the point.
Thirdly we have Social:
I would say social self-care is my favorite. Like, come on who doesn’t want to take their self out on a hot date and enjoy their own company (I do). I did it for Valentines Day. Even if you go with a few close friends. For social self-care, I would recommend: make a new friend, join a yoga class, go to the park with your close friends or the bar (depending on how stressful work was that week).
This one I think is straight forward. If it's not let me explain. We all have feelings and emotions we need to get off our chest every now and again. So let loose and get it all out. Write in your journal, scream at random times when nobody is around. My personal favorite is throwing a tantrum when I’m all alone, I might break a glass or 2. Or simply cry.
Last but not least… Let us Get Physical:
Yes, getting physical is self-care. No, you don’t have to work out if you are like me. Dance around your home with your music blasting on MAX. Just go for a simple walk around your yard or neighborhood or even go for a swim. For you older adults, get down and intimate with your partner. *winks eye with evil smile * I heard that’s an excellent stress reliever. I hope no-one choked on their drink or food while reading that just now. *giggles *
Now that you guys have your 5 categories for your playlist let loose and add your music and begin the journey of self-care and be at peace. It really feels good to open up about self-care because I never thought a day in my life I would write about such a thing. Funny how the universe works sometimes. Anyway… its time to leave the “Garden of Music.”I really hope you all enjoyed this tour and I look forward to hearing your new music playlist. You guys know what self-care is, the difference between that and self-love, you got in my business and how I am learning about it myself. What more do you all need? Nothing right? GREAT!!! *closes garden door *. Please, guys, put yourself first focus on YOU and your INFINITE SELF. It’s not selfish. You are simply putting your self and needs before others. Who cares what others have to say.
You are more important than material things. It’s Self-care!! Remember that. Smile and hug yourself. I love you silly !!!!