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Communication

“THE ROSES” - 3C's of Relationships

The elegant rose has the most diverse set of meanings. However we will only focus on two for the time being; love and balance. These two are important because they are a few of the factors that build a relationship. When these factors are combined and the thorns begin to bud to secure the rose which is the relationship it begins to spread into different vibrantly red petals that make the “rose” what it is. Communication, Compromise and Consistency are these petals that bloom into the beautiful Rose it I made to be.

Communication

Odette

How well do you communicate with others? Do you find that there were some issues that could have been avoided if you all communicated better? How important is communication to you?

Communication; The topic most persons do not like to talk about. Either you, as an individual, are aware you need to work on it, or you’re just not any good at it. While in other cases, I’m sure you know someone who just frustrates you because they really cannot communicate. However, we all need to work on it, especially when it comes to our relationships with one another. Not just our “romantic” relationships, but the ones we have with our friends, family, acquaintances, etc.

 I cannot express how important it is to have communication with your peers.  Communication is like flowers; "flowers always make people better, happier and more helpful; they are sunshine, food, and medicine for the soul." – Unknown. Just like flowers, communication makes persons feel better knowing that their peers are not afraid to speak to them, especially when it comes to personal issues and other topics. “Proper” communication helps people to understand better one another about their feelings, the work environment regarding getting the job done correctly and much more. Better communication means fewer complications, it’s as simple as that, if you lack it, your relationship will suffer to some extent, and for some, that is enough to damage a person. Actually, this is the number one killer of most relationships. We have different views and understand differently, so things might get taken the wrong way or just taken out of context.

 We may all have the same goal, but have different ways of reaching that goal. So that conversation needs to happen. No one is perfect, but it takes two persons to communicate with one another. It’s not fair to one person, always trying to speak with you or have a conversation and the other just doesn’t care or just sucks at communication. Nothing hurts worse than when you are trying to express your feelings, and the persons have no interest to what you are saying. The face just looks like “Are you done yet?” Things like that lead to assumptions, and we all know what road that leads to. So do not assume what you think the situation is because we all perceive things differently.  We cannot read minds, so it only makes sense to say out loud what or how you may be feeling. I have the most respect for persons who are not afraid to communicate with me and tell me how they think. Let me know what’s up!! Just watch your tone with me. I don’t know how you guys feel about communication, but I rather a phone call than text. You actually can get a better vibe than assuming the person is always upset or whatever.

 “So guess what we are going to do now?” * giggles *. We are going to look at both the negatives and positives of communication. Are you excited because I am? First, we will look at a few negatives of communication. When it comes to arguments, there is already a built up of tension between both parties. Are both parties calm, cool and collective? Maybe one person is calm, and the other person is not. Or are both person shouting down at each other’s throat? You see, the problem with that is, the issue will not get resolved this way. If the both of you are shouting, that means you are only listening to reply and NOT to communicate. Think about it…. person “A” says something that actually makes sense, but person “B” isn’t trying to hear that, they just want to be heard and get louder. I will be honest, if one of my peers and I are arguing, I can sometimes be guilty of this, especially if I am on level 10 of anger. Then, of course, I have to catch myself because now I am not making any sense and straight up talking out my ass. The point I am making is, both of you just need to sit down, listen to one another and take in what each of you are saying; come to a mutual understanding, and please be respectful of each other. Remember, the tongue is a powerful thing. Bonus, if the person is shouting in your face and has their hands all over the place, politely sit there patiently until they are done.

 Relationships will not grow without communication; actually, relationships have failed not only the romantic ones but all kinds, because of the lack of communication. I believe that communication is a foundation for relationships and it goes hand in hand with trust. If you are a person who is in a romantic relationship and the communication is not there, I suggest trying to work it out first before exiting stage left. Talk things out that includes the good and the bad, keep building your blocks of trust (so please stay faithful and loyal), be there for one another. Do not bring up the past even though we have moments of being petty, it is not the end of the world if you both have an argument; learn to accept the flaws about each other and most importantly, appreciate each other for who you are and LOVE unconditionally.

 Onto the positive side of things; FINALLY. All I can say is, if you and your peers are good at communication, keep up the excellent work. Continue to speak to each other, no matter the issues despite how hard they may be. If you know someone who needs help with communication, tell them how to communicate better. Let them know the importance of it, or let them read this post about it. Here are 7 things to remember when it comes to communication.

 1.        Control yourself – watch your attitude and how you may come across. Remember to keep your hands down.

2.        Be Conversational – speak normally there is no need to communicate like you are immature because you are not.

3.        Have Confidence – hold your head up high and shoulders straight. Be positive.

4.        Competent – do not have any assumptions or false information; if you don’t know then you just don’t know. Have facts and stick to them. Have your own sources to back up your facts.

5.        Calm- please keep it cool, calm, collective, civil, classy and cute.

6.        Be Clear – say what it is you want or need and be specific.

7.        Concise - Get straight to the point and stop feeding around the bush.

 As I close my “rose garden” for now, practice communicating with your peers, family or partner. Even if it’s someone you had “beef” with but actually want to rekindle that relationship (dating or friendship). Baby steps are better than no steps at all. “Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it....it dies.” – Tony Gaskins. Remember while you communicate with each other to compromise and be consistent with it.

 p.s. keep on the lookout for those two words.

 What is my flaw in communicating?

How can I improve?

Is there someone I wish I can get back to communicating with?

Do I listen when I communicate with others?

What’s my next step?